Facing Fear

So two wonderfuls happened yesterday:

I got turned down for the supervisor position at my work.

The Asheville Relocation package arrived in the mail.

Talk about making things real.
I realized I have some fear to work through. I find it interesting that I can hate a place as much as I hate Florida, and still be afraid to move from it, because it's all I've known for frickin' 26 years. But that's definitely a bit of what I'm feeling, because in addition to the excitement of receiving all that material from Asheville, I experienced avoidance and random spurts of attentiveness. My evening was spent reading one thing, doing something, reading another thing, bugging Husby, reading another thing, playing on the Kindle...because I was avoiding the emotions that were coming up with all this new knowledge. What if I can't find a decent job? What if I have to work 2 jobs initially to get us on our feet? What if I can't find work anywhere? What if we can't find a house? Dear gods, the packing that needs to occur....and on and on and on...

It's good I'm recognizing this for what it is, just apprehension designed to lull me into inactivity. And that shit ain't gonna happen, so this weekend will be spent educating myself and getting the frick past it. I want to move close to that city. It speaks to me, and I can tell it'll speak to Husby too. We can make a life there. Let it start now.