Self-Improvement

Too funny....just noticed how I'd changed this back to NC Moving when I was looking at Charlotte, and now we're back to SC again.....screw it. Asheville's still the ultimate goal, just 5 years down the road.

Not getting the promotion allows me to get back on track...and get a handle on my complacency. There was a point there, while I was waiting to hear about the promotion, where I was thinking about how I want us out of that nasty-assed apartment so IF it turned out that I got the job and it became more prudent to STAY IN FLORIDA, that we'd look at renting a house in town after December.

Seriously?! When I claim to hate Florida with the fiery passion of 1,000 suns, I'm thinking of staying?! WTF?!

I'm tired of playing it safe. It has its purposes, being careful, recognizing limitations, but you do it too much and you close yourself off to opportunities. Granted, our credit still blows and that could limit us, but not trying ain't an option.

This may seem like a tangent, but it's in line with my dreams....what do you do when you want to go back to school and get your Masters, but a) it's completely financially unfeasible, and b) if anyone's going to go back to school, it should be Husby first, because he doesn't have a degree...?

You educate yourself. So I'm looking online at undergrad and master's programs that fit my interests, plowing through my bookshelves and the local library, and creating myself a curriculum. Breaking it down into 9-week segments, I think, and seeing where it leads. I'm operating under the illusion (or delusion) that my studies now will make the actual degree-getting easier, when the time comes.

Ultimately, I'd like to get an MFA in Creative Writing...and I'm crazy enough to look at Ph.D. too. I want to teach at the college level and publish. I may be in my 70s by the time the doctorate happens, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let my fears and finances stop me.

What does this have to do with the move? It gives me focus. I'm recognizing that I may have to make a career adjustment when we move. I'm still looking at the Spartanburg/Greenville, SC, area and they ain't exactly metropolises. I'm betting I crap out trying to find a web design company to even work at, which could mean looking in other related and unrelated fields, and dealing with a pay cut. I'm open to that, though it's definitely scary to think about living on less than we already do. So while I'm figuring out what fields my next job may be in, it's important to me that I have work going on, on the side that in however small a way, pushes me closer to my future goals. About time I stop disappointing myself where that's concerned. I used to say I wanted to publish before I hit 30. Now here I am at 42, and if my novel weren't trapped on a 3½" floppy, I wonder what my excuse would be instead. Enough already.